Divine Denial
by xhelloxsweetnessx
Summary: Predict this! What started off as an absurd palm reading turns into a full on war waged against fate, friends, and of course Potter himself. LJ DH spoilers mild sexuality


Girlish giggles bounced down the marble steps of a spiral staircase. The bell-like jingles of mirth beckoned a reluctant seventeen-year-old Lily Evans upward. It was Tuesday evening, in late September, and a sleepy lull had captured the castle of Hogwarts. All that is except for the defiant North Tower which laughed lively into the serene night. The weekly palm reading was taking place this night as it always did on Tuesdays.

However, unbeknownst to all but the aging prophet perched in her mighty tower, this Tuesday of telling would awaken the inner Sight. Clarity and truth would emerge strong. Destiny would be foretold this Tuesday never to be denied. It would be no _ordinary_ palm reading.

A storm of coiling purple clouds fogged the staircase to the North Tower impishly. The fragrance of violet stirred the air and the purple smoke groped in twisting curls, reaching down the stairs, graceful like a dancer's hand, yet sinister like a greedy man's.

Despite her doubt in the professor's often-rumored abilities, Lily found herself biting her lip in curiosity, her foot hovering to take a step. She herself had never opted to take Divination during her stay at Hogwarts because she didn't have enough time or patience to learn the very controversial subject.

"Come on Lily," Danica Drearwater, a petite dark haired girl of Lily's age, urged exasperatedly. "I've done it before, it's surprisingly accurate." Danica wrapped her dainty, manicured, fingers around Lily's wrist and dramatically lugged her up a couple of steps.

Just then a gaggle of laughing girls, with matching pigtails in their hair, emerged from the ever-thickening indigo smoke. Each girl had a goofy smile upon her face, a glint in her eye, a giggle in her throat. Lily recognized some as fellow seventh year Gryffindors and felt slightly reassured by their presence. The rumors of Professor Delphi and her seeing talent were not very encouraging and Lily would much rather be outdoors in the kissing twilight than smothered in Delphi's smoky classroom.

"Hi, Lily." Georgette Hearstome, Lily's sixth year potions partner, waved at her with enthusiasm. Georgette's usually placid face was bright red and she had a lopsided grin to accompany the blush.

Lily smiled and waved then asked truly curious, "How did your palm reading go?"

Georgette's face, though Lily wouldn't have thought it possible, deepened in color. "Fine," Georgette murmured in reply and averted her eyes to the floor to study her shoes.

Before Lily could ask another question, a girl on Georgette's left burst into a fit of giggles and said to Lily scandalously,

"Georgette's just been exposed! Professor Delphi predicted that Georgettes' once secret crush on Remus Lupin is in her near future!"

Lily gave a chuckle and raised an eyebrow at Georgette, "Remus Lupin?" Georgette in turn shrugged and grinned slyly. There was another howl of laughter from the rambunctious group of pig-tailed girls. They then took their leave down the stairs, robes fluttering behind them.

Danica stood a step above Lily with a hand on her cocked hip. "See, it's just a bit of girly fun."

"That's the problem." Lily responded blandly but followed Danica up the reeling staircase.

After a rather uncomfortable trip through the purple haze, Lily and Danica made it safely to a dimly lit room. Rich, velvet, wine-red curtains were draped gracefully over the few windows in the room and a small fire hissed orange embers into the brick fireplace.

In the farthest of corners a messy professors desk sat. It was heaped with heavy bound books, haphazardly stacked piles of parchment, twinkling crystal balls, and a burning, smoking, bouquet of incense sticks. Deep purple cushions were placed on the floor and miniature tables were covered in magnificent, dark rose, beaded cloths. Students filled the room and talked quietly, the hum of their lowered voices feeding the warm atmosphere.

Beside the glowing fire an aged woman, Professor Delphi, sat cross-legged festooned in a navy blue shawl. In her ring adorned hand she held the palm of an engrossed sixth year Hufflepuff girl. With willowy, weathered, fingers she patted the palm of the sixth year and muttered incomprehensively to herself. Her large eyes were closed and her ratty mouse brown hair was held at bay by a vibrant turquoise scarf.

"You m'dear must stop bewitching your eyebrows," Professor Delphi said in an airy voice opening her brown eyes. Tactlessly the professor stared at the young girl's eyebrows. "If you continue to bewitch them, I'm afraid you will spell them into oblivion forever on…" She paused and stared down at the palm still poised in her willowy fingers. "…the second Thursday of November." Delphi finished the prediction firmly and business-like.

"I'm, I'm going to loose m-my eyebrows?" The girl asked visibly perplexed at her palm reading.

"Yes," came the prompt, confident reply.

"What will I do then, to keep them groomed?"

"It is not in your destiny to have well groomed eyebrows dear." Professor Delphi declared sympathetically to the girl.

Frowning the girl stood up and stormed from the tower looking positively appalled. Her loyal friends followed in tow all also looking offended. "I think her vision will be obscured if she doesn't bewitch them!" Lily heard a girl object to another as they rushed past her.

Lily grimaced and Danica chuckled. "What a load-," Lily began to say to Danica when suddenly a peal of boisterous laughter interrupted the quiet room like a clap of thunder on a still summer's day. The laughter belonged to none other than The Marauders, whom to most of the Hogwarts populace were indeed as fantastic as one of nature's glorious storms. This bit of information was well known to the four boys who composed the famous trouble making group and it's impact, as Lily would tell them more often than not, was negative.

"We bear gifts!" Sirius Black declared to the room of students as if they cared. (Which to Lily's displeasure, they did.)

Professor Delphi leaped to her feet eagerly and clapped her hands together. Sirius sauntered over to the teacher and handed her a deck of tarot cards, which she snatched away from him and clutched to her chest affectionately. "I never thought I'd see it again after that wretched poltergeist had snuck into my dorm and taken my precious deck of tarot cards."

"Peeves put up quite the fight." Sirius Black told the teacher proudly, "But we were able to persuade him to give the deck back."

Peter Pettigrew added in, "It was truly perilous. Peeves had in one hand a bottle of ink, and in the other, a ticking time bomb which would have exploded the rankest smelling powder right on top of our heads." Several people gasped in suspense. Lily rolled her eyes, no matter how cute Peter Pettigrew had become this year, with his dimples and large teeth, that no longer overwhelmed his face; he was not that good of a storyteller.

James chuckled, "But we struck a deal with ole Peeves and said firmly that if he didn't give us your deck of cards, he'd be permanently attached to the Bloody Baron's side." At this pause in their epic story for the benefit of the audience that listened intently, Sirius whipped out his wand most theatrically and posed in dueling stance.

Several girls in the dark classroom sighed and smiled flirtatiously up at Sirius Black, looking like they'd been hit on the head with mallets. With his dashing good looks and charming confidence, Sirius Black had the power to daze and confuse hormonal teenage witches. One flip of his shaggy black hair, or wink from his twinkling gray eyes, girls in every house of Hogwarts swooned. It was a dangerous combination The Marauders had going for them; good looks, danger, and mischief.

"Peeves submit an instant later giving us Professors Delphi's beloved deck of cards and agreed to take his foolery to the dungeons." James smiled at the room boyishly. "The halls of Hogwarts are safe tonight." He finished heroically. Applause filled the room and Professor Delphi hugged each Marauder tightly with tears misting her eyes.

Lily exchanged a disgusted look with Danica; they were the only two people in the classroom not clapping. Except for Remus Lupin that is. He was the fourth and final member to The Marauder group. Remus stood off to the side modestly near the door with his hands stuffed casually in his pockets avoiding all eye contact with a devious smile on his lips.

The moment Lily was about to suggest to Danica that they leave, James Potter made a beeline for her. Standing directly in her path he put a mock wounded face on. "Evans, I'm hurt that you didn't clap." He clutched his chest.

Lily stared at James with a frown, "Oh, cry me a river."

"For you I'd cry an ocean." James said sobering up all traces of play erased from his face. It was not a well-kept secret that James Potter was madly in love with Lily Evans.

Lily raised an eyebrow and laughed. James perked at her amusement. "You're pathetically poetic, Potter."

"Thank you, Evans." James didn't look abashed in the slightest.

"Evans? What an odd name!" The unexpected exclamation came from Professor Delphi. Lily turned to face her and was hit with a blast of sweet berry aroma which clung to the Professor's breath. Lily's nostrils twitched and squinting her almond shaped green eyes she gave an earth-rattling sneeze.

"Oh!" Delphi blinked and gave a shrewd grin. "Did you know that sneezing is the body's unconscious way of telling that it's itching to reveal something?" Lily shook her head politely. She pointedly ignored James's sickeningly heartfelt "Bless you."

"Itching is it?" Sirius Black asked abruptly with too much innocent curiosity in his voice. "I think it's therefore your moral obligation to the human body to have Lily Evans's secrets revealed." Peter snickered behind Sirius and James's eyes lit up with so much light Lily had to suppress a blush. She felt it warming beneath her freckled cheeks.

"I must agree Mr. Black." Delphi said. Then she placed a hand on Lily's back and gently guided her to the fire where they both sat on comfortable cushions. "Tell me, have you ever had a palm reading?"

"No," Lily said feeling a shiver glide up her back at touch of the teacher's cool fingers, which traced lines on her open palm.

"Hmm. Interesting." The professor's head lulled to the side and her brown eyes closed. Lily sat in terrible suspense alongside everyone inside the classroom waiting for Professor Delphi to make her prediction.

"You have an eventful year ahead of you." With a frown Professor Delphi muttered, "It is best you are cautious, danger stalks your life line." Cool fingers repeatedly traced the fold of skin at the base of Lily's thumb.

"Let's see, let's see." Then the slender fingers moved to the center of Lily's palm. "Ah ha. This is all much clearer." Lily looked at her palm, faint purple veins seemed to pulsate within her hand and she saw the distinct shape of a heart.

"Love," Professor Delphi whispered smiling. "This force is deep within your spirit. You possess the passion of it and you will find that passion provoked this very year."

Lily rolled her eyes. All the Professor _provoked_ right then was a gag. Despite Lily's nonchalant attitude toward her palm reading, she couldn't squelch the butterflies in her stomach that had nothing to do with that casserole from dinner. They were the mystical butterflies of Lily's instincts that told her it was true.

"You face many challenges, some are unintentionally invited others are not. Your strengths will be tested to the point of madness, your loyalty will be manipulated, and you will be betrayed by a person you gave up on long ago."

Lily chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously, her imagination ran away with her and she pictured herself receiving owls, notifying her she'd failed her N.E.W.T.S. She had heard seventh year would be difficult but in a raw context like that it seemed much worse. Her mind reeled trying to decipher the specifics that could prompt such a reading. Who had she given up on? What kind of lessons would test her to madness?

"But there is hope because you will find love. A love like no other, it will be the buoy in uncharted, deep, waters that you must submerge yourself in. Unless, you continue denying any and all feelings other than distaste for James David Potter."

Lily's heart stopped beating for a moment. Several gasps reminded her of the audience of students who watched her. She frowned deeply at the dazing professor and scoffed. This was not what she had expected at all; in lamest terms it was catastrophic.

"Way to go, Prongs!" Sirius Black laughed to his friend slapping him on the back supportively. James however had not moved, he sat looking very confused at Lily. When realization dawned on him, his lips curled into a satisfied smile.

"We knew she'd come around James." Peter said loudly. Remus was laughing, presumably at the absurdity of it all. Whispers burst from the students around Lily. Professor Delphi was torn from her trance-like state and she popped her eyes open just in time to see Lily pull her hand away in disgust and rise to her feet.

Before Lily could do a thing however, James was in front of her running a hand through his unkempt black hair. She glanced around the room aware of the fixedly listening girls, glaring jealous boys, and the malicious hiss of whispers. Her loathing for James doubled at this humiliation, which would have been avoided if he hadn't even existed.

"So, secretly in love with me are you Evans?" James asked her, glowing with smugness.

Lily's eyes narrowed and she said quietly, "No."

James chuckled, "All in good time though, eh?"

"No."

"Oh, come on Evans."

"Okay then. I'm secretly in love with you." Lily said this with a flat, humorless, tone and James frowned.

Sirius Black then interjected in that obnoxious way he had. "Okay Lily, with a little more _oomph_ this time. Annnnd action!"

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "Can't you idiots just leave me alone?"

Sirius groaned loudly, "That is not your line!"

Lily shot him a dirty look then turned to James, "Look, let's have a minute alone outside okay?"

"Okay," James said zealously.

Lily grabbed his arm forcefully and tugged him out into the hall away from prying eyes. Though James didn't deserve the courtesy to experience what Lily had prepared for him alone and without an embarrassing audience she took him down a couple of steps anyways.

"Potter this is serious so don't turn on your pitiful charms and think I pulled you out here because I want to confess my love to you."

"Okay Evans. Why did you pull me out here?"

"I want to know why you won't take no for an answer. It's been three something years that we have been playing this little game of yours. And every year I make it abundantly clear that I'm not interested. But you won't drop it. Why?" Lily and James had battled numerous arguments, but this confrontation had been coming for years.

James looked taken aback momentarily. Then he shrugged, "Evans I'm not going to stop liking you because you won't admit you like me back."

Lily's nostrils flared angrily and she said, "This isn't about denial Potter! It's about this ludicrous game that you and I have allowed to get out of control. You have to realize that I do not love you, I don't even like you that much." James didn't take his brown eyes from Lily the entire time she paced in front of him.

"Well you must if I'm going to be the person you fall madly in love with." He said calmly, too calmly for Lily's liking.

Rolling her eyes to the ceiling it looked as though Lily were praying for patience. It was surprising how composed her voice sounded when she responded, "Just because some deluded professor says a load of cock and bull about me liking you does not mean you are in my destiny. Besides everyone knows Professor Delphi is daft, anything that woman says is not reliable."

"How do you know I'm not in your destiny?" James asked with infuriating innocence. Lily grit her teeth and took a deep breath then exhaled slowly, blowing a few scraggly red hairs that had dangled in her eyes.

"Because she clearly missed the fact that I don't like you."

"Oh, but we both know that you do." James wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"No- I don't and you have to get that through your thick skull!" Lily exclaimed throwing her hands into the air. "James Potter you are so full of yourself! Do I look like the kind of girl who swoons at the flick of your untidy hair?"

James smiled, "No."

"I will never swoon for you. I can promise you that with certainty. And I advise that if you'd like to conduct Head duties with me with any sort of civility you'd best behave with that in mind." She proclaimed.

Lily stopped herself from expressing her hateful opinion on his position as Head boy. She may have been fed up with James Potter and his charms but she wouldn't insult him further than that. Unless he provoked her.

Which of course he did when he said, "You're right you won't swoon you'll fall madly in love."

"Tell me Potter, do you have to bulldoze doors to fit your fat head through them?" James chuckled.  
"Stop. Chuckling." Lily warned dangerously. James chuckled mockingly. "You are so juvenile!"

"But you'll still fall for me!" James sang happily.

"I would rather die." Lily shot at him defiantly.

"Don't say that." James became very grave.

"Well I would! You're completely insufferable! I'm having trouble forming coherent sentences just being in your stupid presence." James restrained a sarcastic remark. Lily calmed slightly at this then asked more quietly, "Why can't you just take no for an answer? It's so disrespectful, and proves that you are immature."

"Then why don't you just go out with me?" James demanded. "You take it like a mortal insult that I'm crazy about you! Why don't you live up to your own expectations and stop being a stubborn mule, along with a hypocrite and- and JUST GO OUT WITH ME!"

There was an awkward pause in the fight. Lily stared menacingly at James who stared back. Both had wild looks of exasperation on their faces. Skillfully avoiding the question Lily asked quietly, "Did you just call me a mule?"

James picked up on her attempt to change the subject and said sternly, "Don't avoid the question."

"I have every right to avoid your questions when they involve calling me a mule!" Lily shouted defensively turning her back on James and bolting the stairs. "Stay away from me!" She finished dramatically her voice echoing in the hall as she shot down the stairs whipping around the corner.

"Surprisingly accurate?" Lily exclaimed to herself as she paced her dormitory head buried in her hands.

James's question manifested itself from her memory and seemed to multiply the pain that seared in her head. Professor Delphi's prediction concerning James was absurd. Lily had denied her attraction to James Potter for years in favor of her hate for his personality and wicked bullying. But even while she hated him thoroughly for being a cocky armpit she also indulged in little games with him, harmless flirting that she never thought would endanger her hate for him- until tonight.

_"Why don't you just go out with me?"_ Her memory relapsed.

She snorted humorlessly and said to herself, "Because I can't compromise my hate for you. If I did that I'd jeopardize my morals at treating everyone fairly and equally."

It was complicated. Lily was birthed by muggle parents but still had ability for magic, which unfortunately labeled her a "mudblood". For being the only witch of her family and of her Evans blood, she was an outcast to the ostentatious "pureblood" families, regardless of her magical aptitude. She was looked down upon and treated as inferior, treated like a scar of the face of the magical world, a horrible, embarrassing scar. This opinion Slytherins, and simply pretentious pureblood wizards, made clear to her everyday.

James Potter may not have been a Slytherin but his disregard for feelings and habit for yielding superiority over fellow Hogwarts students was what Lily had spent her whole life trying to overcome. It may not have been as severe as calling her a mudblood, which he had never done, or holding a prejudice for her heritage but it was the principle. She could never allow herself to take her fancy for James Potter past the admiration of his strong jaw or boyish smile. Which she wouldn't do anyways because he was such a twit. Lily sighed and shook her head; James had to stay away from her once and for all.

Just then Danica walked in to the dormitory. "That was an interesting prediction." She said sarcastically.

"You think we could bribe Delphi with some incense to get her to take it back?" Lily asked sulking.

"No, but I bet there's something, like a backwards love potion, in that Potions Bible of yours." Danica said pointing at the hefty black book Lily had on her bedside table. It was a gift from Professor Slughorn, the Potions Master, for Lily on account of being the 'Most Outstanding Potions Student' two years in a row.

"Danica, I don't have time to be concocting backward love potions. N.E.W.T.S. are this year and I can't be wasting time on Potter when I have serious studying to do. Also he isn't worth any potion in the world."

"I suppose." Danica brooded. "But what will you ever use that thing for anyways if not this?"

Lily raised an incredulous eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

Danica plopped down on Lily's bed and grabbed the book in her dainty hands. "I mean what on Earth will you ever need **Olificent Tuna** for?"

"What does it do?"

"Besides smell like tuna?" Danica asked then ran her finger across the curly script beneath the potion's name. "Well according to this it's used to breed fish in sand."

"Fish in sand? That's a total contradiction." Lily said then gave an enormous giggle.

Danica snickered, "I suppose it is. And look," She pointed at a simple pencil drawing of a hand. "The **Manlesico Potion** gives your hand the power of speech." She laughed and said, "Unless you want to have a puppet show this book is totally useless. It's got every potion ever concocted up until 1912 but the entire first half is in Latin."

"I know that." Lily said with an edge. She grabbed the book from Danica and set it back on her bedside table, propping it just so the light in the dormitory glinted on it's golden letters. "I'll find a use for it eventually. But making a potion to give to Potter isn't it. I'm just going to cut off all contact with him. Forever. Now if you don't mind I would very much like to go to bed and forget this entire night."

Lily opened her trunk at the foot of her bed and extracted her pajamas. Danica first scowled at the brightly colored clothes and then with a sigh followed Lily's example and dug out her own pajamas. Determinedly silent towards Lily, Danica slipped her silk green night-gown over her small, straight frame and settled into bed, her face drawn in contemplation.

Completely opposite of Danica's feminine night-gown was Lily comfortable in her favorite peach pajama set. A pajama set Danica had expressed disdain for multiple times, speculating on it's bagginess and the sickly color Lily turned when she wore it.

"That's so childish." Danica had once commented. "Do you have a pair of peach bunny rabbit slippers to go with it?" Lily had nodded with false enthusiasm and Danica gave a crooked smile.

"What? It's comfortable. And at least I don't get frost bite when I go to sleep."

"Whatever floats your boat." Danica had murmured.

Lily, now, grinned down at her pajama's and bounced into her bed. She drew the rich maroon curtains together then laid back in the starchy sheets and fell asleep.


End file.
